Therapy in the form of 120 film

Yesterday the Midland-based 1460th National Guard Transportation Company arrived at the local airport from a flight from Fort Dix, New Jersey where they spent several days after returning state-side from being deployed in Iraq for the past year. Because of planning, I was able to be at the airport on the runway and was the only "media" there. I decided to bring along my co-worker's medium format camera.

Although I'm pretty disappointed with the photographs I made throughout the day on both cameras, I came away with a great love for the film camera. Today I got the 4 frames I shot developed and see potential in working with the camera in the future. Particularly on a project about daily life along a stretch of highway south of Midland. It was great to just relax, remain calm and compose and wait for a moment or just a composition. Sometimes I miss a lot of moments and chances for intimacy because I'm always worried. Worried about not getting a shot, worried that I'm not taking enough risks. Worried about failing. This has probably been the single most issue I've been facing over the years because there's this feeling of always trying to keep up, prove myself, get better and better, but I've realized that the more I worry about all that nonsense, the less energy and focus I have at actually improving and figuring out who I am as a photojournalist and what I have to say. I haven't found it yet and maybe I never will.